I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
