So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Boobs are out for the taking
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
