Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he thought i was a dude.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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