Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is wine microwaveable?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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