On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
