oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
