Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
