Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
