Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
