The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
