Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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