just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
