blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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