Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
as a side note pls kill me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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