Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
