Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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