I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
