no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
