why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
