i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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