I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
