Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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