Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
