the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
