I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize