Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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