I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
