I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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