Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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