my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is wine microwaveable?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize