I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
