it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
