I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize