I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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