This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
