the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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