Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
