Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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