yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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