Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
