I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So vagazzling was a success
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
