Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
