The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize