How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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