Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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