My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
