btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
