I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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