It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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