She said her name was "party"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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