i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
