Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
