When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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