I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
