I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
