i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
