If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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